QUARANTINE DIARIES: DAY 37 - 54
I don't know about you but at this point in lockdown, I feel very much like life has no meaning...
Here's the rundown on what I've been spending my time doing - spoiler alert - not very much!
Day 37
I have spent the day watching films. I went to the chemist and the co-op at lunch, took the dogs for a walk, then has super noodles and a bit of cheesy toast, before watching the last two Avengers films. I'm feeling alright today.
Day 40
I have spent the whole day watching The Imagineering Story on Disney Plus. I was quiz host on the family facetime and Uncle Allan's team for all five art questions right which was hilarious and unexpected. Everytime Mum and Wilz got a question right they were so chuffed with themselves it had me cracking up.
Day 41
Another day spent watching The Imagineering Story - I feel like I know so much about how the Disney parks were built and how the rides were conceptualised and built. What an amazing job to have.
Day 42
I had a conference call for work today and I found out that my job is at risk of redundancy. What excellent timing...Had a video-call with my friend Fi for a few hours in the evening which was really nice.
Day 43
Today I woke up at 11am from a dream about me rescuing baby bears and carrying them around like toddlers? Random. Had a shower, took the dogs out as I do every day, and phoned Fatima whilst on my walk. I miss that funky lady. Had a parcel arrive from New Look of which I'm keeping 3 items of clothing and 3 pairs of much needed socks. Ate some porridge for lunch then started writing a blogpost but got sidetracked by researching journalism course because if I get made redundant maybe I should turn writing into a career? I literally don't know what to do with my life at this point.
I took the dogs out again before dinner - mac and cheese night WOO!
Day 44
I spent the entire afternoon reading in the garden and ended up with the worst sunburn I've ever had in my life. I watched the remake of Lady and the Tramp in the evening - what a horrendous film.
Day 45
I got up at 10 past 9 this morning and made some porridge. Watched Disney films all day because I am on a down day. It feels like I either have a good day where I feel productive or I just watch films all day and question what to do with my life... I kind of feel like that's normal for lockdown mentality though?
Day 46
I woke up early again - thank you sunburn. Mum was off work today because its VE Day so she spent her afternoon making masks for people to wear to protect against corona. We watched the first two episodes of Grayson Perry's Art Club on the tv and it was hilarious! Mum is recording the rest for me. I got up and had a cold-ish shower, my shoulders feel like they've blistered - it hurts to even have a tshirt on. I took the dogs to Burleigh Sands for their walk as I needed to take the car for a bit of a run. It was a beautiful day with a really soft warm breeze. The loch was gorgeous in the sunshine and there were over twenty swans paddling about near the edge. When I got home I watched Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella, and I have to say seeing Sleeping Beauty in such high quality was really nostalgic for me. The amount of artwork that went into that animation was spectacular.
Day 47
Today I managed to sleep in a little. Had porridge again before taking the dogs to the park. Got home to a delivery of aloe vera gel and Mum and Wilz returned from cutting down the hedges in my Gran's garden shortly after. I couldn't be bothered watching anything this afternoon so I ended up baking a victoria sponge which ended up being a bit lopsided but Mum fixed it for me. We had lemon and herb chicken for dinner which was delicious and then it wasn't long till family facetime. I watched the first episode of Celebrity Drag Race beforehand and then it was my cousin Ryan's quiz tonight. We came 2nd!
Day 49
I woke up at 11.44am, confused as to the time because Buster was all cuddled in next to me which is abnormal. I spent the day a bit at a loss for what to do. I ended up watching Antony and Cleopatra on the National Theatre youtube channel - it was good, funny in parts, confusing in others and there were so many outfit changes! It ended with Ralph Fiennes (Antony) stabbing himself in the gut and then Cleopatra using a real snake for a suicide! I stayed up pretty late watching Bohemian Raphsody and Rocketman...the latter of which was not at all what I expected - perhaps too played up as a musical? But Bohemian Raphsody was epic!
Day 50
Back to the normal routine - got up, porridge, dog walk. Had a conference call in the afternoon to ask questions about redundancy which was sobering to say the least. I watched Pocahontas afterwards then took the dogs out before dinner. After dinner I had another video-call with Fi which was 3 hours long! She got her parcel of books I sent her in the post and we talked about celebrity artists and drag race. After her call I watched Pocahontas II for the hell of it - what a mistake. Absolutely awful.
Day 52
It's my brother's birthday! My mum made me a cheese toastie before I took the dogs out. WHen I got back I cleaned the entirety of the car both inside and out. There's simply nothing more satisfying than a clean smelling car or fresh bed sheets. Two small satisfactions in life. I caught up on Season 12 of Drag Race this afternoon and had a short video-call with the birthday boy. Starbucks in Dunfermline has reopened it's takeaway and drive through so I texted my gran to ask if she wanted a coffee brought round to her tomorrow so that's my plan for tomorrow at least.
Day 53
Got up, showered, put on a dress, put on makeup, did my hair. It's not everyday you get to go to Starbucks after two months of lockdown you know! It took me 32 minutes in the drive through queue to get 2 coffees and then I had to drive round to my gran's with it. It's not quite the same as actually going out for a coffee and sitting in the cafe and everything, but it's a small consolation in this long long stretch of nothingness. After I'd popped round there I went to the Tesco near her house to get some bits for Mum as she'd been round to Sainsbury's but the queue was ridiculously long. All in all a nice day to be able to just get out and about and have a small shred of normality. I spent my night watching Cats the musical with Karlie and Kelly on video-call which had me crying with laughter, confused, horrified, and questioning why on earth it was ever made. I don't think I'll be watching the film anytime soon after that experience...
Day 54
I got up, had some porridge, then took the dogs right round the loch on their lunchtime walk. 4.35 miles down. I'm trying to change my current attitude towards food and exercise because if I don't then I might be rolling out of lockdown rather than walking. There's no reason why I can't just start small and stop eating so much rubbish and getting my steps up. So that's my current plan. I had a muller light yoghurt and some fruit when I got back and this afternoon will be spent doing...something...before dinner and the family quiz.
Overall I'm at the point where I would really really like lockdown to be over. I would like to see people and be doing things again, because there are some days where I just beat myself up over not doing anything or indulging in way too much chocolate - MUM CAN YOU CHILDLOCK THE CUPBOARD OR SOMETHING?!?
Having broken up with my boyfriend of two years, had my Grandma test positive for the virus, find out I may be getting made redundant, then find out my Grandma's radiotherapy didn't work for her brain tumour... it's a lot in a short space of time. I think I just need to find small positives everyday to hold on to to stop myself succumbing to despair. I know I keep wondering what on earth I'm going to do with myself but I just need to remember that life has funny ways of surprising you, and the best thing I can do right now is get my body moving, drink more water, and relearn what it is I enjoy. Writing is one. Reading is another. Drawing is a third. And so the list will go on...
I hope you're all coping alright, and if you've had bombshells dropped on you that it's not getting on top of you. The best thing, I find, that you can do is to do small things that make you happy rather than having big to do lists you can't achieve.
Melissa x